Tyler Ocon: Journal of a Wanderer

Maybe it’s time for a real post…

The last few months have been an absolute blur and there have been more than a few surprises.  After months upon months of thinking I failed my two Psych classes, I scraped by with a C+ in one and surprised myself with a B in the other.  I got A-’s in both of my IR classes - apparently, I can now consider myself well-versed in international law, and especially the UN Law of the Sea.  Trust me on this one - the Law of the Sea is probably the most boring thing to read if you’re not interested in the ocean.  If you’re into the ocean (most likely because you’ve lived around it and on it all your life, like me), it’s actually very interesting how every government in the world divvies up such a common resource and how, sadly, there are very few states who take the preservation of the ocean seriously.

But I digress.  The first half of my tenure as Student Association Vice President can be defined in one word: crazy.  My perception of this job was horribly flawed in that I figured that, with such a vague job description, this would mostly be a walk in the park.  Of course, I forgot that my ambition and drive would, inevitably, sabotage me, so I wound up taking on just about everything I could think of to offset the fact that my job description was lacking, and it’s certainly kept me busy, but I really don’t think I would have had it any other way.  I managed to negotiate more (and cheaper) ice time for the Women’s Ice Hockey team,  I’ve gotten closer to a Medical Amnesty Policy than anyone before me at Geneseo, I’ve been on the forefront of running the logistics of Geneseo’s accreditation visit by the Middle States team, and I have probably broke the record for “most time spent in the SA Office in a given semester.”  Personally, I’ve made many new friends through ACUI, SA, and all throughout Geneseo.  I’ve met someone that, even though she doesn’t know it, has completely changed my perception on things and made me realize the things I’ve ignored for a very long time.  A lot of good things have happened these past few months.

However, I know there’s a lot ahead for me to tackle.  While I’ve gotten close to a MAP, I can’t slow down now - I want such a policy to be put up by the time I graduate - while it won’t take effect in my final year, I can at least ensure the friends I leave behind in Geneseo feel comfortable calling for help when they need it.  I want to get the Student Caucus really involved in the College - my studies definitely forced the Caucus and Senate to the back burner this past semester.  I also need to get the club sports teams more organized and actually hold this damn anti-hazing workshop - since I was everywhere at once this past semester, the anti-hazing workshop only came to my mind immediately before finals began, and at that point having the workshop was useless.  Of course, this list isn’t complete, but it’s a start.  I need to get my act together and ensure forward progress in my future.

With all of this in mind, I get to put up what is usually known as the “New Year’s Resolutions.”  So, in keeping in tradition with everyone else in the world, I present my list of resolutions for 2012:

1) Improve my time management.  My incredible tendency to procrastinate has left me in far more tight spots this past semester than I ever wanted, and I can’t keep stressing myself out like that.
2) Open up.  I tell this to myself every year, and I always wind up keeping myself closed to everyone and not letting anyone know who I really am and it makes me look like a major dick, especially to my friends who tend to know me better than most.
3) Write more.  In the last six months, I’ve been suffering a major creative drought and writer’s block and it’s been killing me.  Usually, writing (whether it’s prose or poetry) has let me put my emotions and creative energy into a productive outlet and has provided so much catharsis for me, but the last six months have been so hectic that I haven’t been able to really sit down and just write.  I’ll definitely be giving myself a little time to myself so I can prime the pump and really get something beautiful down.
4) Invite more music into my life.  This goes for just about everything to do with music - listening to albums, going to concerts, playing guitar or piano, singing, writing music (maybe I’ll finally write my first song at some point in 2012), etc.  I’ve spent the last six months not really indulging the musical side of me and I feel I’ve been depriving myself of something that’s vital to my well-being, which is why I need to practically overdose on music.
5) Manage my money better.  This has been a problem for me for the last four years of my life - I always spend much more than I make.  I’m thankful that I have a father who has been in my shoes and helps me out with paying the debt off, but I hate asking him to help me out on it and I’m sure he hates helping me (though I know he’ll never say it).  It’s high time I got control of my finances and set my house in order.
6) Volunteer more.  I spent an entire semester in Greece doing volunteer work at a refugee center and it made me feel fucking wonderful, but since I’ve been back in the States I’ve been lacking in the whole “giving back to the community” thing.  I know that I could, in a way, write off my service to Student Association as “volunteering,” but to me, that’s not volunteering - it’s my job, I’m required to do my job.  I’m not required to volunteer, but I just don’t feel right not giving back to a society that has given me so much.
7) Spend less time in front of the computer.  Every twenty-something today has said that at least a million times in their lives, but I need to be serious about it.  The world’s passing me (and all of us) by while we tap-tap away at our keyboards, using StumbleUpon or Tumblr or Facebook or MySpace (if anyone even uses MySpace anymore).  It’ll be much healthier for me to get the hell off of this nonsense more often than I do and enjoy the beauty that’s around me.
8) Get serious about my future.  For the last seven years, I’ve been able to joke around about my future outside of my education by saying, “Oh, I’ve got X years to go, I have time.”  Now that my graduation is rapidly approaching, it’s time to get serious.  I’ve already submitted my application to the State Department, but I need to start preparing for the FSOT.  I have yet to submit grad school applications.  I have yet to look for paid internships.  I have yet to use any of the connections I’ve developed to find something post-graduation.  Now that I’m freaking about it, and now that 2012 is finally a reality, I need to buckle down and get shit done.
9) Get back down to a 34 waist size.  Yes, I understand this is the most stereotypical New Year’s Resolution in the world, but another one that I need to take seriously.  I have to keep my health in greater consideration than I have.  And I know that putting a number on weight loss is useless, so I’m going by pant sizes.  I currently wear a 38/40 waist size - getting down to 34 will be a major accomplishment for me.  Once I reach that, I’ll shoot for 32.  Then 30.  For now, it’s baby steps.
10) Fall in love.  This might happen to me sooner than I expect, but I consider the moment I fall in love with someone special the day I have finally thrown off the mental chokehold I’ve had on my emotions over the last three years.